Pomona Essays That Worked John

For many students and families, Yale is a dream.  With application season getting more and more competitive, how can students step up and turn this dream into a reality? Take a look at the following essay intros from Yale students on AdmitSee:

Mouse43

Class of 2020

I believe in the power of the hallway.

I attend a high school filled with everything from a robotics center to a three-dimensional anatomy table; there exist so many special locations I could label “home.” And yet, I still find myself happiest when walking through the somewhat stuffy, overwhelmingly overpopulated, yet comfortably carpeted hallways I frequent between classes. Read on. 

Corilu

Class of 2020

I see it everyday: boxes piled upon boxes, the remnants of our last move. Every crevice in my apartment holds a reminder that my home isn’t permanent and in another couple of years, we’ll move again. 5 different homes. 7 different schools. Continue reading. 

Alice6180

Class 0f 2019

“Without balance, you have nothing.” My fencing coach has taught me many things, but this is by far the most important. He demonstrated it during my very first lesson, when he nearly toppled me over with merely a light push on the shoulder as I stood in the en garde position. Although I quickly found my balance while fencing, it wasn’t as easy to find balance in the rest of my life. View full profile. 

Aao1997

Class of 2020

The incessant Q&A never really got to me. “Yes, I am an albino.” “Yes, my eyes are blue, not red.” “Yes, I do know how much some would pay for this hair.” I always told myself I had a story to tell. God made me special, right? Living with a disability, I sought to convince myself of internal worth at a young age. Nothing truly combatted such worth until I reached high school and listened more closely. Surprisingly, words murmured behind my back dug a lot deeper than inquiries and insults to my face. Whereas before it merely represented a conversational ice-breaker, albinism began to define my identity. No longer did others know me as the theater kid with chamber music on his iPod. Rather, I became a sight to see. “I saw a shooting star!” “I saw an albino!” Keep reading. 

MK97

Class of 2019

I turned to see my mother’s red face, eyes welled with tears that I have not seen since my family immigrated to the United States. I remember the sorrow and vulnerability consuming my mother’s face, but I only heard my heart pounding against my chest. For the first time as a child, I remember hoping my suspicions and theories about my father’s long-term absence were wrong; How could he abandon his young family? Why would he abandon me? View full profile. 

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About The Author

Frances Wong

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.




Students applying to Ivy League schools find themselves having to wade through a particularly dense morass of conflicting advice. With Harvard and Princeton denying far more valedictorians than they accept, many students are coming to the the disquieting realization that overwhelming academic achievement and stratospheric scores may be not enough. Hence, the hope that a perfect essay might be where real distinction lies.

It’s been said that there are only two stories we tell each other: a familiar person leaves on a voyage, and a stranger comes to town. This is no less true of college essays, but it doesn’t make writing them any easier.

All of the Ivies use the Common Application with its single essay requirement. Students are given a choice of five prompts that ask them to tell a story that reflects their own identity, to recount a moment of failure, reflect on a time when they challenged a belief, describe a place of contentment, or discuss an event that marked their transition to adulthood. But the student who is applying to both Princeton and Pomona has to craft a personal statement that speaks to readers at both schools equally well. As Jon Reider, a well-known high school counselor in San Francisco, says, “It has never occurred to me that one Ivy (or anywhere else) would want a certain kind of essay. The whole point is that the main essay tell that kid’s own truth. Colleges take what they get.”

Admission officers at Ivy schools would agree that in telling their truth, students choose topics that more often reflect the reality of their own lives than they do the ethos of specific colleges:

  • Brown admission officers Louis Trujillo and Natasha Go note, for example, that this year saw many more natural disaster essays: Sandy, Colorado flooding, Oklahoma tornadoes.
  • Others point to a shift in the overused “helping others in exotic locales” topic, from the old staple in which a student discover peasants that are happy in spite of their poverty, to one in which witnessing the deprivations of poverty spur students to express gratitude for their American prosperity.
  • Many students write essays in which they celebrate a rather anodyne version of diversity, marked less by political engagement, for example, than by servings of both sushi and stuffing, masala and mashed potatoes, turkey and tamales, at Thanksgiving dinner.

Students’ desire to write an Ivy-inspired essay is also complicated by the nature of the Ivy League itself. While the league shares a long tradition of academic excellence, exclusivity, and a set of admissions protocols that relate mostly to athletics (such as an Academic index that all Ivy athletes have to meet), the eight Ivies remain very distinctive institutions. It is hard to imagine how to write a Common Application essay that simultaneously speaks to Columbia’s focus on the intellectual value of a core curriculum, Brown’s notion that such value derives from the absence of a core, Cornell’s proud tradition as a land grant school, and Harvard’s exclusivity.

Of course, there is an element of self-selectivity that may set the essays of some Ivy applicants apart from others. Thoughtful applicants focus on how particular schools fit with their social and intellectual aspirations, and good essays mirror such self-awareness. Elisha Anderson, an Associate Director of Admission at Brown, notes that when he used to work in the admission office of a smaller, nonconformist liberal arts college in Massachusetts, he saw so many essays on protests, filmmaking and the Food not Bombs movement, that, “It wasn’t until I started working at Brown—where I almost never read essays on any of these topics—that I realized how different the self-selection of the two applicant pools must have been.”

Unlike the Common Application essay, however, the school-specific supplements do require that students write more targeted essays. It is here that the student needs to craft an essay that speaks to his or her fit with that particular institution, and some will ask the question very directly: “Tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia,” for example, or “Why Brown?” Dartmouth avoids additional long essays and Harvard’s is optional, but last year when the Common Application did away with its so-called activity paragraph (“choose one of your extra curricular activities and tell us about it”), these Ivies decided, as did Columbia, that it was useful enough for their purposes to include it in the supplement. The Ivies with engineering schools ask for additional essays from prospective engineers, but Cornell, not surprising given its seven colleges, asks every applicant for such an academic interest statement. Presumably Princeton and Yale are largely looking for exactly the same qualities in their top applicants—academic aptitude, intellectual depth, awareness of others, leadership qualities, and knowledge of the institution. To help them identify those elements, Princeton asks students to reflect on their own lives by writing, for example, in response to quotes on culture, service to the nation, and the practices of inequality. Yale, in contrast, asks simply that a student “Reflect on something you want us to know about you.” Associate Director Rebekah Westphal of Yale explains that the question is, “open enough that students write about whatever they feel like at the time, to present themselves to us without trying to fit into a certain topic or question.”

In a good essay the student embarks on a voyage to learn more about an idea, a place, or about herself, and she returns able to examine and understand what has been familiar with new eyes and a deeper perspective. In that narrative, Ivy admission officers are looking for qualities that are no different from those that readers at Stanford, Rice or Chicago are searching for, and for the greatest part, they are all likely to discern them in similar essays.

We welcome your comments at ideas@qz.com.

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